Ah I need to meet my friend!

Who got me few seasons of BBT for xmas present! <3

To make a face like my loves..

like Sheldon Cooper's <3
.. I need to ask, should I dye my hair "caramel"? Like ganguro/kogal/gyarus do?
Guess it's less a crime nowadays to have a darkerskin and light hair?

Milloin lakkaat pitämästä isästäsi liikaa

Kirjoitan nyt suomeksi, koska on harjoiteltava suomenkielen kirjoituksiin.

Ensinnäkin, minusta on hyvin kummallista kun pidän miespelureita vähän säälittävinä ja saamattomina. Niin minusta tälläinen kun herra J, joka ei edes puhu suomea vaan on jostain Washingtonista ja puhuu naisille kuin koirille - niin miksi sillä on aina niin paljon naisia, tai ainakin bileissä ja vielä sellaisia kivan näköisiä, itseäni mitenkään kehuskelematta.
En muista kuinka me päädyttiin pitämään niin kivaa, kai se oli se tilanne kun se repi minua hiuksista ja käskyili, samalla kun tuore tuttavuus tyttö järkyttyi ja nettikaverilla tipahti leuat lattiaan. Nettikaveri, poika joka oli pukeutunut kunnolla ja tarjonnut drinkkejä naisille jotka eivät lämmenneet. Ja kuinka kornia voi olla ottaa kännykkäkameralla kuvia naisten kanssa, mutta se on vain pisteitä pistetaulukkoon (siis kuvakansioon) naamakirjassa!
Sattunut ei ole mitenkään paha, vaan lähes huvittava kun tätä miestä näkee asiakkaana tai ohi mennen kun kävelee äidin kanssa ja se tulee siihen "behave!"
Ulkomaalaiset! Tai graafikot! .. Valokuvaajat!

En ole sittenkään varma mitä olen mieltä elämäntilanteestani.
On kyse sitten merijalkaväen sotilaasta sitomassa kenkiään, katoamassa miesten huutojen täyttämään käytävään.
Toimistotyöläisestä kolistelemassa brändivyön solkea, joka poistuu jättäen kalliin tuoksun.
Miehestä keräilemässä tietokone tarvikkeitaan ja valmistautumassa lähtemään luotani.
En ikinä nouse, koska vaikka herään siihen toimintaan toivon nukkuvani sen hetken yli kun ovi kaikuu yksinäisyyttä sen sulkeutuessa.
Tai sitten olen vain laiska.

Haluaisin käydä bileissä ja tavata jonkun. Sitten ei tarvitsisi enään haikailla kenenkään perään.
Tai sitten haluaisin vain löytää jonkun porukan johon ankkuroitua taas muutamaksi kuukaudeksi. Olen järjettömän ristiriitainen etten tiedä pitäisikö minun edes miettiä tälläisiä!
En pidä typeristä ihmisistä joiden kanssa tuntuu siltä että hukkaan aikaa mutta sitten haluan löllyä ihmisten kanssa.

Jos en olisi näin laiska muokkaisin ihmisten kuvista lempikohtia, tulostaisin sen ja menisin stockamannille ja ruiskuttaisin sitä miesten hajuvettä mistä tykkään tällä hetkellä koska joku tuoksuu sille. Mutta olen ihan laiska, pidän pullasta enemmän.
Se näyttää, tuoksuu ja maistuu parhaalle!

Käsilaukku onneksi antaa suunnan sen sisältö kertoo paljon tytöstä, siellä on koulukirjoja ja cheerleading-vaatteet. Ei yhtään poikaa.

Mr.Jones

(warning: whine whine whine)

Yesterday some balett and went to see some Picasso with Aleksi, and some Chai Latte<3

Today I should get a new phone, Nokia is a lil bit ;___; OH BLACKBERRY WHEN WILL YOU COME TO FINLAND!?!?

from Iphone mr. Jones sounds better.
Screw this situation I'm ready to give up. After counting I have wait for men over 24 hour all together.. And those are only the times I remember.
So when talking about waiting fo not a week or a month but a half year to YEARS.
Jesus.
I need clubbing to shake my butt like they have brains of their own.

Arctic Fox

I love old people smiling with their wrinkled faces
The crusty edges of strawberry pies, blood red jam
Teacher's "good!" signature in my exam

"Why did you awnser sounding so helpful. Feeling like swallowed waxcrayons when I stopped to read a sms months ago in aim to delete them. This won't be a "take-me-back", this is an indication of my immaturity and admitting my apathy towards your very kind heart and good intentions. I wish to carry my computer to your endless hands, like Will brought her marmot to Caleb in one comic, in trust youll fix it. Your perseverance with anything is admirable.
Endless is also your working building which I passed last week with numerous windows to see you in a collared shirt. Keeping my eyes straight forward to not see you.
Thougthlessness of mine led to that sickening smoke and made me left you.
You thought me having someone else. I was too shamefull to return to you anymore.
My life was just perfect with you and somehow there was parts of puberty not fullfileld - which I didn't control.
Not blaming anything outer, I know all is my fault.
It wasn't enough to dye your bathroom with my pinkhaircolour when showering there.
Nor was the fact of your endless kindness towards me.
Brat.
Crying in the embrace of my blanket. To imagine your endlessness would embrace this pathetic pile of furore fractional.
A letter with splash stains you believe are caused by rain.
Against rules of cyborgs I'm gratefull to you. And wish to you all luck to your life!"

Wearing only a shirt, panties and brand new white-red striped socks trying to smell some one in my bed makes me feel so rueful!
When will be my turn to be squashed?
This has last about 3 weeks and I'm already weary!
It's probably the first time I know exactly why to wait something to happen.
Or why do I have to wait for it.
a deceitful amout of acuriosity arousing factors and exploitating my obsession towards him - this isn't going to end in any time soon.
I have always wanted to die fast, and this feels slow!

Colour my love

So today I walked my way again to my parent's place.
I need to rush soon to the bus so I'll made this a quick one.

TODAYS LOVE:
- George Kamitani
- Timo Vihola
- Hyung-tae Kim

I wish my life would be drawn by theese guys

Games: Muramasa : The Demon Blade

Daddy, I need consoles

Open your heart to me!

I think this CheerMix-radio is an insane idea and makes me hyper :D

\o/ -2kg ! Awesomeness!

Yesterday my parent's came to my place and my dad repaired my washing machine.
Eating and tea with my paren'ts <3

Then went for cheerpractise - Damn I still love my team! Made some liberties and fitneestests.

Went home for a while, to wait mr. iDenwas to finnish his pokerevening - but as it wasn't arranged we met earlier as planner ^^
8 hours talking and talking, eating chocolate and pizza!

Today madet he PP-presentation and this evening is going to be spent among my Breakpoint work and Open Gym

Marie-Antoinette, let's be favorites!

Bought yesterday the Marie Antoinette, starring Kirsten Dunst. (it was on sale) The movie itself seemed to be endless and it was dispite of all the glorious dresses and lifestyle, pretty blunt. I know it is kind of a documentary but all the cuttings and "let's put some modern music here and there just so there will be something original.." didn't warm me.
But I think Kristen Dunst and others (not men), were extremely beautiful.
It made me drool for macaroons.
If your man is bad in bed - go shopping and have a orgy with lots of sweets!<3
Let them eat cake

Balett and snautsers

Boring school day.
English is okay, but with math it's the same am I listening or not - I study things thru at home.
Then went to my favorite library to do some homework.
The went for a search of a book about doing latex/plastic cloths but didnt find anything.
But I bought this book "Hell Bound" which incluedes dozens of contemporary art works with a dark twist.
I was in one bookstore near the library, an you can sit there and have tea. I was in a hurry so didn't bother to make a cup. Then I felt something sniffing my leg, it was a dog and I went totally " ahaa there's a little fellow!" then the WHOOOOOOOLW dog came under the table and it was about a middle size snautser and I was petting it and so happily kissing and so - then a boy was laughing and I totally blushed. Silly me didn't even ask permission to touch his dog - but he seemed to be okay with it. The boy wasn't that cute nor was the dog - but as a copule they were super cute!
Then I went for a ballet class which was love! I feel myself very muscular which isn't so feminine as balett in the other hand is.. but I had fun!
Today I collect some material for my work and tomorrow I'll fix the dress, clean up and get ready for the weekend.
Also I could make a entry about things I have bought lately :3

Yay, mr. iDenwa is coming back tomorrow \o/ I like him with short hair

Delio Dimaculangan and Jason Veron Marasigan Francisco

(left Jason,right Delio)
I have never been a fan of Big Brother-reality tv format... but this Pinoy BB Double up is soooo much different from the finnish one!
In finnish BB there's bunch of people, majority no-lifer with no goals or deeper intelligence of anykind (which gives a picture that most of finnish people are like that - which is *not* true). Most of the time, if not being drunk, they talk shit about each others, whine and complain - or sound in many ways lazy.. Also casual sex is a popular activity which I consider disgusting.
So after you finish with your fame in finnish BB I think you have lower your changes to get a job or you have a permanent stamp on your forehead for attentionwhoring in such a inappopriate way. So I think it's hard to earn any respect from people.

Well, to Pinoy BB.. my parents are hook with it and it has lasted already for ages!! Guess something around 100 days! So I have been forced to watch it..
As The Phillipines is a heavely religious country - the fact has an impact to the show.
For example, sex is banned ( i guess) and if someone encourages others to smoke or drink - the Big Brother might moralize you and usually punnish people for misbehaving.
Like, when Kaitlin came and had some alcohol, and some people got "too drunk" BB punnished some of the housemates for "not giving a good image"
and teached them something like "you can't blame some liquid, but the person taking it"
Also people show their real feelings and thoughts - and theres some romance going on and it's cute.
There's sound effects and more camera views than in the finnish one.
The most important difference: There's lot's of activity! They do charity and work together in very creative ways! They play games!
Even reality shows are ment to entertain only just with the possibility to stalk others -to pinoy bb there's some really funny people chosen! In finnish version ._. they do boring tasks and complain and whine and it feels like they'll do the same task for the first 30 days! Also the people dont usually have any interesting backgrounds or view of life.

Above, is pictures of Jason and Delio.
I think Jason is cute, but he is lazy and too shy - but still so awwww!! He is nice and kind to his crush <3___<3 holdinghands is soooooo *giggling...*
Delio is my favorite, sad he already got voted out.. He is so kind hearted and sweet! And suuuper cute!!! <3______________<3 and he is a cook!
For the record: Delio is cooler than Jason! <3
(mommy told me he is too old for me :< 26.. naaah :D:D:D:D:D: and yes I go always saying when I have met someone nice "MOMMY I'M GOING TO MARRY HIM TOMORROW!)

Не верь, не бойся, не проси

(left a picture taken 2 years ago)

School still tastes good and I should probably apply as a substitute teacher to my old elementary and high school :P
Today spent only 2 classes at school - and went to the vocational school for lunch with Aleksi who studies there ( yeah, I actually do too)
He seems to be very modest when saying "Sorry to seem like a big brother but.."
I think he kinda is, a big brother ( and he is even older than me so it would be possible) but just a pinch of something better!!
Hope he wouldn't be so worried about me anymore - just bacuse I dont practise my iron fists I have my steel-toe boots! >:B
Today I felt almoust annoyed as I kinda wanted him only for me and be just together, but then dunno what went to me. I was tired.

Afters school went home for a possible hope with my washig machine, my dad promised to fix it but I know him for being very busy atm .__.
My cosplay wig is waiting in the post-office \o/

Then got everything ready to design the dress on a puppet.
Evening spent again in evening school at Ressu among math and russia - and saw one guy from who I should get still some of my stuff so it would be totally over, don't you just hate it when the other one is so stuck (or you think so) that you don't know even how to act for your own good anymore?

Tomorrow: school, pile of homework and balet. Weekend promises a bunch of people and whom I have been missing<3

I wanna be your girl

Today I felt tired again - sleeping in public transport, the feeling was welcome.
We had an substitute at math class whom I had to explain thing :D "Dunno anything about this field!" -"pardon teacher, it's on page 21 - it sf means.."

Then I went to the central for some time with mr. mystery iDenwa-san before he had to go in a conference or such in London. We hopped to a finnair-bus it was fun cause never been in one before! ^^
3nights and 4 days seem to be forever..
I think for theese last 6 months that has been spent just by fooling around with cheeseballs - preassures me to improve myself to be nice!
Too strong feelings inside so little time, he got the timing right..
This is stupid and wont profit at all - but it feels so good ._.
It's almoust too ridiculous how my imagination rolls and expands! .. when thinking about him.
I had theese same feelings probably in age of 13 or so - having dreams that wont realistically come true, but conjured a smile on my face.
Be your girl (by Chieko Kawabe) -feeling

I ate at school - for along time, but spaghetti casserole sounded too interesting!
When eating alone in a long table and stearing how some girls sound like hens when screamind, (partly cause of their ethnic background,) about some guy last weekend - I state me being right when I explained to one dutch scener how some people, especially some geeks have an "idiot/stupidity/I wont profit of him"-detector.
Learned it years ago, that hangging out with jerks wont make your life happier, he told me.
mmh.
Mikko asked for my number and I'm kinda happy that maybe some day there's a possibility going have fun with the 2nd year guys ^^
Although I felt this weekend how scared I really am to go out without knowing with who to hang out there or what to do with those people, what to talk about.

I bought some fabric for my SMFR-party dress, plain grey hard cotton to match my officer hat.
Wish my shoes will arrive via mail ASAP ^^

needs to loose more weight quickly!! Almoust slipping to fasting but when knowing it's not a good idea strictly avoiding it! >:B

Beethoven Symphony No.9

Hi! Please forgive my presumptuousness and abruptness. Even though you do not know me right now, I still want to be confident like you and tell you: I like you! You have the right to refuse my love, but you cannot show contempt for my love, because that is a heart that is sincerely beating for you.

I saw this photograph of you on the internet, and over the past few days, I’ve been paying attention to you more and more. Unwittingly, my obsession and adoration towards you became like the water in the Chang Jiang [Yangtze] river that comes from the sky and rushes swiftly out to the sea never to return [his attraction and love was unstoppable, could not be reversed ]!” Falling in love with you is my biggest glory, and a mediocre life from this point on is no longer ordinary. At this moment, any beautiful language is unable to express the obsession I have for you. That pure-hearted smile has already been deeply fixed in the center of my heart. It is almost time for your flight, so here I will first wish you a nice trip!

Also I just want to tell you: First is that I like you, second is also that I like you, and third is still that I like you…I like you…

Your little princess is my little whore

Ah got and incredible offer!! And I was listening to this .. and now I'm trying to work my ass off to Breakpoint and all demoparties this yeas >:D

how this song is related.. ? it's inspiring!

Oh HAI!

So this morning I woke up again slowly and feeling fine, walked my way to my parents home and made a card for Arlyn. But I didn't go to the party cause I forgot my party-top home ._.

Today was so nice going back for training! I did miss all my team-mates and ARGH JUST COOL! I love my coaches!!
First of all, I got a x-mas present ribbon ^^
2nd we did and awesome pyramid! :D
Usually I'm a terrible sissy and afraid of trying anything. But my coaches have tought me - just by showing their attitude - "try, practise and you'll learn it".
So when I least trust on myself, I just look at their faces and courage BOOST 2000X !!
Also the attitude of your team mates is also important - everybody working for the same goal <3
3rd I really want back to practise! I need to work hard outside training hours too!
Even you are tired after school or work, going there and seeing all those funny girls! Then for warm-up we usually play some different kind of tag, like fruit tag or "who is scared of the blackman"-tag.. and I usually become breathless by just laughing so much during the games :D

Heart beat, beats the cold

Yesterday I spent only one class at school cause of feeling so dizzy ready to throw up.. wonder if it's migraine or something.
Well the condition couldn't be helped and had to finish my schoolwork the whole afternoon.
Also had to do shopping with my mom - It overbears me when she wants me to wear something more like "the others" and don't like her "oh yes yes yyyyeeees" sayings when I might like some piece in a "normal store" - like I'm not shopping there normally? -.-
I'm not *that* different afterall.. but still it makes me feel uncomfortable when my own mom goes "you should see how X:s daughter.." " you should start buying same cloths as your sister.."
I bought a mint-blue marvel-college from 12y/o boys department for 3euros and I'm going to wear it cause it's comfortable and I LIKE THE COLOR AND IT HAS DUDES FIGHTING!

I dont want to seem stupid or needy but really theese made me laugh to myself:
1. Dont put a carpet into a washing machine even it fits inside - it's not the same thing with a bathroom carpet.. First, all the shreds jammed the machine 2nd the carpet is totally destroyed!
2. Dont put toothpaste into your eye, especially ones with "freshing christals" so when you make-up in bathroom make sure the surface is clean. I totally failed to get toothpaste on a bug brush which whipped also accidentally my eye..

Met mr.iDenwa and was kinda disappointed as some guys couldn't say anything off-track about him.. and by that i mean things like "he was the ex-minister of vietn kong" or "he killed gorillas bare hands in Russia!"
Hanging out and so.. Corona and so. Learning things and so. My internetZZZ is still borueken.

btw listening to:
I *love* this!

This is a secret and my suspicions about things behind his words might be true - or then he is just saying. I dare to claim that we are very alike and when I was saying things like that .. I know how complicated the situations really can be and it's more easy to accept it as I have gone thru it. In the other hand as a selfish-tiny-super-spoiled-brat the thought that can't have what I want hopefully teaches me something.
Maybe this won't be so serious, maybe I'm wasting my time (because if there is a end or another start it's not going to happen in a week or month, this is the weird part of dating older guys: month is like nothing to them " I call you next week", for me it's an eternity!!)- but atleast enjoying the time?
We have only one life and why not.

Today cheerleading practise for a long time! Then Arlyn's birthday.

Also I'm in a quest to find the original novel of Love & pop and Tokyo decadence - which go with names "Topaz" (topazu) and "Topaz II" by Ryu Murakami.. what to do..

JU VANA TATS MI TUU

Narcissistic features have started growing inside me.. maybe.
I like the guys who surrounds me at math class they are fun to listen and .. so kind! :3
"Give me a five!" he said after I flaunted of my 4 row of 10's ( same as A+)

I met my new social worker and it kinda bothers me as it's not so amusing to explain my past 3 years again and again to someone new...

In the evening I went to my first russian lesson and impressed the teacher by greeting and intoroducing myself in russian ^^ also the math class was nice!

My financial situation is so good that I was thinking to visit a hairdresser inside a week!
I was planning to get ..a... emoish "scene queen" cut? .. maybe!
Also pondering to try a fudge coloured hair.. but it wouldn't probably go with the cut ( I would look like a troll :D)

Tomorrow more school and mr. iDenwa ( i'll change this if some better comes along)

Tea in a glass with milk

(above a picture of my favorite movie, Oldboy)
Just came from gym working my ass off literally but I hunger for chocolate. ARGH.

Me and my mom went to the university entrance information.. thingie yesterday.
Everybody tells how challenging it's to get into medical school ( they take 20% of who applies), but to study psychology they take only 3,97% or to study fashion less than 7% ...
I have goals to acchieve and 38points of 210 because of my laudatur in psychology but -- more reading ... for a couple years IF I get in.. *sigh* but then I need to focus on why it's so important to complete my studies. ( Usually I think of my dad and his childhood - that's a good ass kicker)
Among behaviourscience and fashion studying, 3D animation and anything related to animations would be fun too.. Sad all of those wont fit under one roof.

I'm an average student - but nowadays I have been feeling like a swor especially in english and math course 5 ... Wtf for those continual moments for akward silence after someone asks something stupid! ( there's no stupid questions only stupid people asking)

.. now mentioning that, I do feel free to ask details and almoust act stupid ( or I just feel like one ) with a guy whom with I been lately spent time. He didn't even finish highschool - which makes his source of common knowledge more interesting. For example he reads cognition sciences just for fun!
you'll just rip their last remains of manlyhood!
after few experience with boys, I think manlyhood is better found from between your ears than in pants.
I rather chat with a male person hoooours about - snow and about neurobilogy than.. have sex with a hyped cock ( nani, was it attached to something?)..which will disappoint me and wont teach me anything but "Don't listen to the oppinion of demoscene guys about.. sizes"
I CAN HAS Revy attitude towards sex: I wont benefit, why bother

As my man hate is soaring - this one guy is getting more cooler in my eyes day by day!
I could claim that the reason for why we come along so well is INTERNETS.
First, we get known thru IRC - cool and lots of things in common!
2nd, as I was in a phase where I saw in every male person the most retarded living creature ever which needed a mother - he comes around and saves the man image!
Also he reminds me of Timo which calms me and I can't think anything else than "cooolcoolcooolcoolcoolcoolcool!"
Then okay I fed him pizza, ( BUT I'm a teenager that's normal to me..) but he took me to a nepalese FOR LUNCH, geeeee.. cool.

Then age difference.. I think it's not a issue anymore, but dunno if there's still something twisted. Well hell does anyone care as long it's legal? ...and as long the other one isn't a total conservative ( cough like usually) Dunno is it classified as abnormal like, a fetish!.. or is it normal but I just go to the extreme?
Maybe I just like intelligent people! n_______n

I got the latex/rubber Man laugh.
Wood strawberry joghurt is the best!
I want a iPhone.

Birthday and schools

This year I'll be sooooooooooo old ._____________________.
Should I have a pary with my graduation as they have almoust the same day?
Should I go for Heltech AV ?

About favorite movies

We watched this with naali monts ago - this is sooooo scary and..... dunno sick.
Not my favorite but one of them... I should be sleeping but I want to keep this feeling :3

but this is

FUA-KIN!!

Ah a weard school day behind again - they go so fast as I know this is my last period in highschool ever.. if i wont count my japanese studies!

What features do you need?

It's so amazing how even your movie-history is same-alike...
Wonder how does he judge movies does he say "that's buullllll shit" or "hmm I like the colours, but I didnt like the plot".. I prefer for the last one.
I need someone with a large vocabulary tobe used with open mind

2009 Thanks giving

So we went for thanksgiving with my parents to sweden with bunch of other asianpeople :3


Me and my Dad, mom on cam

Bird nest

waiting for the train


Dogs in train<3

My new crush Cocacola light<3

My dad's snacks... 15boiled eggs...


Cinnamon apple chips

Cabin windows



Ginger bread cookies


My new pants

In Sweden the buildgs have ears :D

Calendar: 2nd-5th of April Allowed to Drink [x]

So I am going to BREAKPOINT 2010 !!! \o/ ..and with an entry or two..
Below some 2009 pictures


I re organized my home - theese pics are from the past style - forgive me the mess I decided to take pictures after already getting messy with changing places of thingsAbove: The wall of my alcove, I made it my working corner - and now there is more hats and collars!



above: upgrated the wall with yummy boxes


Sceneclub menu in the fridge BEEEEERUUUU:DD
Thinspiration: I need to get in shape - not loose weight but shape - getting chubby ._.

Chili sprouts!<3

Aleksi was dancing in a bar...

Finally got my Crazyfactory order!!<3
3x navel piercings
Hypno balls<3
5 x Tongue piercings
1x 4mm acrylic tunnel
2x 5mm acrylic tunnels ( I thin those seethrus are nice<3)
2x 6mm acrylic tunnels
and a colelction of 8mm tunnels <3 ( one negative thing: the tunnels with diamonds - the blings are different size..)

Not going to Germany but ..

.. still decided to make entries and jsut some one to present me there ^^

Ewan ko ba kung bakit type kita
Di ka naman guwapo kahit malabo ang pagpili ko -T.L. ako sa ‘yo

Panay kantiyaw pa nga ng utol ko
Dehins ka raw bagay sa kagandahan ko malabo nga ba raw ang mata ko at na-T.L. ako

Kalyeng liko-liko ang takbo ng isip ko
Sabi ng lolo may toyo ang utak ko sabi ng lola ay humanap ng iba
May porma’t mayaman, T.L. wala naman

Breakpoint 2010

So tomorrow I'll book my Helsinki- Frankfurt am Main tickets! \o/ Waiting so badly for Breakpoint! - Now I need to do a entry there ;P <3

Where the wild things are

( watched together with Aleksi "Where the wild things are" - Matt ( the guy who I met in NYC) was right, it was sad and really reminds of the hard childhood, it really helps you to understand the movie if you have read developmental psychology)

Men who save the face of other men
Today was the first day at school after the holidays. Went there first my face as a raisin but luckily targeted Samuli and had a nice talk with him before the first class started. I think he remembers what lessons I go to. He told me some sad things - I wanted to say something, but didn't know was it appropriate. Hope he's ok.

It's so depressing to notice how even a high school is full of basic-stupid people.
"is birch a deciduous tree?"

I love my workmates, the way they kinda nag about my men-issues :3 "Girl he is ugly!" "leave him, oh ... LEAVE HIM!"
Also as most of the workers are girls I never lock the toilet of the backroom - learned again that I should..

I met an anonym again at Kamppi. First "geek" with who I was comfortable in ages! ( he didn't make an issue about the social problems although he didn't have ones but geeks seem to always have and the fact of it makes me uncomfortable)
He let me play with his iPhone - and introduced it well and felt more easy to use than ever! Also I tried the game he had developed, I suck in games but it was fun.
The confusing feeling that you rrrrrreally enjoyed meeting someone, you just met.
Is it possible meeting some one with who you share an almoust alike imagination?
His conscientious called him back home.

Went to Sceneclub. Got my ear largeners, tongue and navel piercings!
Nosfe's artist room looks nearly ready, Naali avoided even looking on my direction and Kani tried to close up the akward silence by talking to me nice things. Kani is so super.

We went to I <3 food, to have pizzas with Aleksi- had very good customer service and the most delicious mozzarellapizza../w tomatoes!

The movie was sad. I knew immediately what it was about, and it made me recall the therapy sessions with Timo years ago. You might want to meet your feeling monsters and learn from them. I knew what it ment but it's nice that it has been made to a movie.
Loved the movie, characters, music and the visuals! Being honest, it made me cry.
The boy wearing a wolf-suit standing on a dinner table - then running, screaming and crawling.
People who have had rough childhoods. Having.
It made me feel again like theese couple last winters with Aleksi when we stayd in the theather seats long after the movie ended, sighing - no need for hurry we hate it.

Lately this life of mine haven't made sense at all, trying to catch and run after something that will come to you when it's time to be rewarded for being patient and waiting. After being nice.

..Years ago, he carried me to his home hundreds of meters - cause he found me lying in the streets dead-drunk like a sailor but in a dress. The sculptural dog Roma greeted me.
He carried me to bed and hesitetad should he come next to and put hands around me - he did and it was okay to cry. Oh how my mind was so black. Next morning he showed Tosca ( Tuska, when she was still a puppy just size of a hand)
me: "hah, lucky we are not friends with those", I frowned upon when some drunken soldiers
passed us.
A:"Yeah we have better friends!", he laughed back.
Friend. You are my bestfriend.

I need a warm touch. Missed my family ( and now I came to be over night at their place).
Missed especially my dad because of the movie.
He told me that me having a low body temperature is okay, actually it makes me help to recognize really warm people. I did earlier today, not sure is it a okay feeling to have - yet.
Dunno is it even alright to imagine things any futher.
Already went crazy with my bad temper and felt bad one night just because getting crazy with everything I feel and them being not in order or not making sense.

Realizing we you can feel the same, like a hand on your neck, but thinking very different things.

Mou Sukoshi

Dunno what this is.
Can't make jokes of my feelings anymore and now realized what this is all about.

Again it really doesn't matter, it's thru internet. But you can still be found of.
Now I'm crying.

No matter how open and straight you are there's still something what people wont understand.

Not sex - but someone to sleep with, some one who makes the bed make noises and "wave" by night, some one very warm. Someone who is able to sleep beside me.

Why to have two pillows in bed.

Rudy don't fail

I was in Xycling today - okay it made me sweat and set my feet on fire, but my butt and rest of the down-stair is such in a pain right now :DDDD
I like the gym here in Espoo more than the one in aleksanterinkatu .. it's more modern :P But hell, equally supergyms!

I think theres a posibility me having a fix to super tall guys and much olders too.
It makes me feel they are some kind of fairytale characters.
Well but no chance with them as no tall guy want this kind of a midget nor a older guy a girl who has born two decades later than him.
puff

Where a big sits

Yesterday I spent my day at work again nicely and being slightly hyper with the girls.
We are going to Amsterdam with a few co-workers and bosses at Vappu (1st of May) YAAAY!

The whole evening I sat in Cafe Kämp or Kämp Cafe ( whatev..) with a guy I met at Tuesday at Nosfes bday in Kaisla. Being honest I feared there would be nothing in common between us and we would suffer a hour of painful awkward silence. Happened that we sat there until midnight and even in the taxi to home we spoke about chilies :D So I had a nice time.
The place itself was .. pretty and preppy I could imagine to have a lolita meeting there! .. Really please understand me, I'm a poor student that goes to K-18 bars where's no service but puke in corners instead.
Even going to bathroom was kinda .. WOW.. First I saw a imagine of a big bull in a painting - and i felt lilea virgin lost in his labyrinth while trying to find the toilet.
Wow.
IRCed until 5am, slept and when I woke up I just lied inn bed petting Mimmi, sipping some strawberrysoup and watching that beautiful snowy weather<3

Today I clean-up and depending when he is going to pick up Mimmi, I go eat to my parents and then to Kisis with Mikko.

Haruko Momoi FINLAND LOVES YOU!!

I just read the news that Haruko Momoi (Known from Under17 and voiceacting) is coming to Desucon, to a animeevent held here in Fianland, Lahti (also I'm working there as a maid)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I'M SO HAPPPYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Creating contradiction

So this January I'll start going to ballet :3 So I learn some body controll and get a straight back, also concentration is a feature what I'm lacking.
Also this summer I'll try Roller Derbying, need to order the skates ^____^
Exciting.
Boys, out of MY WAY!