Miyerkules, Abril 28, 2010

Sua en saa

Nollie Spankkiin laitan asiallisuuksia, tänne vineen.
Tähänkin tarvittiin taas uusi mies.
Olen ällöttynyt
Menneisyydestä heijastetaan liikkuvaa kuvaa ja järkyttyneitä tunteita - jatkoin silloinkinmun valkoisten sunnuntaiden nauttimisesta.
En edes muista kenen kanssa niitäkään oli.
Nyt ei tunnu hyvältä, olen pöhkö.
Ei näin saa kierrättää ja jakaa.
Mitä tämä kertoo tilanteestani, missä en saa miehen nimeä suusta ja olen salaisesti kurjistunu

Toivottavasti ei tarvitse olla sinulle mukava, vaikka oletkin minulle.
En tahdo hetkiä missä minä tunnen aidosti ensimmäisen kerran, ehkä sinulla on hullu pakkohulluus hullutella hetkiä uudestaan ja uudestaan.
Törkeää hän minun kaverini jonka juttuja luin ja kuuntelin.

Moi

Miyerkules, Marso 24, 2010

With all your might



Last one.
Math please dont kill me, i love my calculator!
If i would know how put japanese influenced emoticons would put htem here.

Linggo, Marso 21, 2010

You need to get over it

I kinda feel jealous and unwanted right now.
Jealousy was suprising - I dont even like him anymore, but still feeling like this.
evil evil
bad bad
i'm disapointed on myself, eaten the whole day and afraid of the possibility ill distroy my friends life.
I'm such an awful mess right now.
Lucky I have compotions, breakpoint and editoring articles keeping me busy.
But at this kind of moments when i have made everything for the day, reminds me how miserable I really am.

dream of your hands, represents your relationship to those around you. Hands serve as a form of communication. Perhaps you need to lend out a helping hand to someone. The right hand may also be a pun for some decision or something being "right". If your dream that your hands are detached or see disembodied hands, then it indicates feelings that you are not getting your point of view across or that others do not understand you. The dream may also symbolize feelings of loneliness.

Martes, Marso 16, 2010

Wake up pretty Suzie!

I'm so young and you're so old
This, my darling, I've been told
I don't care just what they say
'Cause forever I will pray
You and I will be as free
As the birds up in the trees
Oh, please stay by me, ipouni

Thrills I get when you hold me close
Oh, my darling, you're the most
I love you but do you love me
Oh, mister, can't you see
I love you with all my heart
And I hope we will never part
Oh, please stay with me, ipouni

Oh, my darlin', oh, my lover
Tell me that there is no other
I love you with my heart
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
Only you can take my heart
Only you can tear it apart
When you hold me in your loving arms
I can feel you giving all your charms
Hold me, darling, ho-ho hold me tight
Squeeze me baby with-a all your might
Oh, please stay with me, MISTER

I kinda feel insane

Huwebes, Marso 11, 2010

But you dont stop trying



Busy busy.
But drawings, dishes from drinking chilicocoa, dozens of facecreams, body butters and CDs lying here and there tells that I have enjoyed myself and been productive.

mr. iPhone is in my oppinion more busy than ever since we met ( the spring awakening of the game industry) , but he sacrifices more time to spend with me compared to the past times.
As I decided not to reveal his identity in my blog i'll continue telling stuff in a form I feel okay
So, he does games, codes, reads about quantum mechanics.
After long days at work and business conferences he still has the time to have a undress-me-tag at the office or energy go to the movies :D
And it's never enough and I get moody. spoiled brat
I wish to have him overnight, put my hands around him while sleeping.
Kiss his cocacola tasting lips.
we are planning to travel to Japan. Hope this is for real.
He gave me his shirt. which smells like him.
He contacted one of my female-friends and it's kinda weird but guess he is trying to show something.

At times when I should be busy - I find myself trying to fall asleep, thinking about him or just smiling and making faces to myself in front of a mirror.
Trying to have lunch with someone.
I feel so, worthless.

" I didn't eat for three days, so I could be lovely"
I want the Skins DVD all-series-box..

The fact that my undergarmet drawer wont close is kinda amusing. I like to have funny panties, frilly ones, strawberry printed, boy-cuts, hellokitty and naughty ones ( which are the most boring ones, everyone has thongs)
I need bras, but it makes me feel so old to buy them. And frustrating when the dont have my size.
I have a weird desire to take mr. iPhone with me to buy them, everybody has a bf who comes with them. I want a one too.

Martes, Marso 09, 2010

Jesse Schell at DICE 2010



Think about that <3

Video Girl Addiction

When you are told to be HYPER-AGGRESSIVE you must be loved!

I want to skate, run and scream until there is some blood coming from my mouth - and I can smile
...then go to bed and wake up
and have a bf^2 .. as boyfriend and breakfast
and to eat cake or rather macaroons in different colours.

No alcohol to me, again

Martes, Marso 02, 2010

Let's dance to Joy Division



"A guide to love, loss & desperation"
Dunno, if I missed this feeling of "stress" - the sense of hustle and that there's no enough of time.
Exams, practise, final-exams and this Suosikki thingie, not forgetting pre-enter-what-ever jobs which must be posted to school before this month ends.
I need to do alot before this month ends.
Lucky I get a month rest after this - squeezeeeeeeee the juices
dispite of all this hurry and .. discomfort I want to feel mr. ipouni ( like naadde spells it) smell and hear. Blessing in disguise that he also need to work. Inspiring.

Bodycontrol. Thinspiration. Damn those poets don't help me!
Here comes the anxiety

It would be so easy to just starve and do the work - but when the zenith of your day is to have a hambuger and a fatty chai latte with him, you'll have to admit that you have feelings.
I actually don't mind at all gaining a -/+ 500g when hanging out with him - I like him so much it makes me insane!
Am I now totally pathetic? Hope the rainbows other end is in April
Last weekend when beeing drunk I almoust made it public, but didn't

Funny when you are the other woman, the other woman kinda makes your life harder. But you dont hers.

That was my Lo, theese are my lilies - yes they are beautiful, really beautiful! Screamed Humbert Humbert in a joyful manner after seeing Lolita, but while watching lilies.
I dislike the english Lolita, I still love the finnish one and still searching for it from antiquarian bookshops. I like the finnish Humber Humbert, he is so cracked <3

Sabado, Pebrero 27, 2010



I want to feel like super stressed out of this workamout but instead it makes me laugh :3
I love lady gaga!
nothing to say.. going to party and blow my brains out with fun<3

Martes, Pebrero 23, 2010

You are a maneater

So though I don't have a TV at home it doesn't mean I dislike it - I really get hooked on it where ever and when ever I have a change on it no matter what it is streaming!
While my lil sis was on the computer I watched the finnish soap-opera "Salatut elämä" which is kinda depressing with nasty topics and quarreling..

Most of reality-shows are lame - but Steven Ward's "Tough Love" was enjoyable and actually instructive! Atlast the problem is not in men but in women, with ugly behaviour habits! (okay, 1st some of the women had in the show sooo disgusting fake-n-bake tans that can't even imagine! .. but which would look good on yamanbas)
The topic of the episode was about money usage and about how to be yourself in good policies.
I tend to scare away people because of my inconsiderate consumption, dominating conversation style and my table-manners, so starting from tommorrow I'll follow Steven's tips and start to be a nicer girl who is [DATEABLE!] *a stamp used in the show*