Boku wa kuma kuma kuma~

I called Aleksi "Help, I'm getting wet!" and waited for him topick me up with an umbrella.
Sat under the highwaybridge, where used to be a railway.
Listening to Lily Allen and playing with my new dinosaur toy that came with the happy meal.

Picture storm!

I have been wishing to have somekind of a national pride like Americans do ( all the stars and stripes thing..) but what can you do - if people think your either racist or ..weird. And in my case, it's complicated, I'm part german and part filipino but a finnish citicent :P

Yes I have been baking.. it's maybe the spring and sun that has made me crazy. *making blueberry pie there ^^*

The content of my DreadViolette package! \o/ sheet of pink foam, pink wire loom, and 2 package of kanekalon. You are able to see the result in Alternative party 2009 ;D


Done work alot! Some pictures from our Kamppi Store. Ghettoblaste-bags and a bunch of piercings in storage ^^ Colours<3


So style things must be added too... So forgot the brand, but found this shirt from a sale last summer and as it was a guys XXL I customized it ALOT, and even cut out the brand ._.
it used to coast something like 69 euros but got it for around 19 because of the sale in JC ;D

Finally when I got money - went straight to The Geezers in Kallio, Helsinki. Really good service and got some stuff for free "jsut to rty" as im a novice in theese things. Also a really cheap place, I got the caps for free but all cans were together around 21 € (notice: the gigantic Clash- can <3)

More about work, the book I got (House to house by david Bellavia) havent much open taht book as it scares the shit out of me. My favorite chocolate I like to munch at work, and the coin bank i supposed to send to Shawn. (actually had to send the one with a cookie, but if i'm going to still send it i cant picture it ;DDDDD) I have started to work and save like crazy to all kind of stuff, for the trips actually.


Last night I cooked for Aleksi and me, a "makaroonilaatikko" in finnish. It's a thing where you usually put macaroni and meatmince eggs and milk then oven it. But as I'm in a red-meat-free-diet until Phillipines trip - I made it from macaroni, mozzarella cheese, green peas, onions, corn, and paprika ( and to keep this thing together, milk and cheese) Also for dessert Baked Alaska from Ben and Jerry's.




Yay, everything is so green! <3

I have been also trying to get rid off things I haven really been using. For example theese shoes, Never really worn them, but I simply keep them as a decoration :/ Super sexy pair of shoes so hope they'll find quick a new owner ^^ ( the problem just is that people think that they are too high :<)


I was yesterday in a "tattoo party" of Legacy tattoos, where usually is half year lines to get tattooed. Been a customer there before - so knew it's a cool place to take tattoos (seems to be specialized to "old School tattoos" or sailor-style). The idea was to pick from ready made "flashes" pictures and pay 20€ (which is super cheap as the prices are starting from 80€)
There was so seriously hilarious pictures! (like, super simple flowers, drunken monkeys, whales, swastikas, FTW...) And I was considering already to take one armadillo to my butt cheek :DDDDD But instead of an armadillo, when one of the 6 tattooa rtist picked me ( which was jussi who did my scissors in my rib) I went like "oh okay i'll take this" and picked this ribbon to my wrist. It looks suepr random so need some work near it ;D guess i'll fix it in the next tattoo party.

Love the feeling getting tattooed.

I see your shadow

This morning it was so hard to wake-up.
I felt you beside me, felt the same tiredness as that navyblue night.
Viekää minut sinne missä hän on

Had to let go, painful.
Before you I never felt like wanting to spend the whole day in bed. That day I wanted to do that for sheer happiness, today it was because I didnt want to live this day. Just to skip to a better tomorrow.
Varhain opin, miten hauras onni onkaan
kuinka se ei kestä kauaa

I went to therapy for the last time, it was the same weather - same time of the year.
She hugged me, but still not knowing when her birthday is.
Another girl with weird cloths sitting in the waitingroom - wondering what her background story was.

Now it's real, true, I'm lost where ever I go. And there's no one in my heart either.
Only left now is hard will.
and I know what is possible to do with it.

Minä odotan täällä tunnelissa
jossa valo kylmä hohtaa jossa pimeän koirat ulvoen tuon kirkkauden kuoron kohtaa
Kaikki kävi niin pian
kun aina luulin, että vahitellen lähden
Minä katuisin
vaan en tiedä kuinka
enka edes minkä tähden

Let me be with you.

Hey little girl I want to be your boyfriend

I'm covered in paint, incluiding my belly.

My aunt passed away today.

I picked up the book left for me "To Nikki" in our one store. House to House by David Bellavia - I was in the second page (!!) and it made me go "wtf.." and put it back to be lost in the bag.
It can't be about smashing candy bars and heath, sunburn and smell of urine? (yes .. 2nd page)
I had a photobook of WW2 in age of 14.. and it shows that going to war is being proud and doing nice tricks with an airplane, too romantic huh?
Someone is making a joke of me..

I don't like un-happy news, especially when it's told to you that you have atleast one year of happiness. Or that one time.

It might be that we wont never ever see again

Aunt Alice wont be there singing with me no more.

My life feels so unreal.
Wtf is this? Do I really need to do this? If I dont like it.
I dont want to be so tough all the time.
I'm a tree hugger, a vampire

Once you have tasted it, and you knwo you wont ever get it again, it makes you just give-up and
I was thinking about that tiny moment when I was biting his shoulder, a blue morning

Love chocolate. I'm tired.

Avocado once In a Day

I do not like airline season prices x___X If I wont get a under 600€ flight to Atlanta this summer .. I'll fly there 24th of September (right after my finals)
Well I waited for 6 months so this 4 months can't be that bad.
Which is actually good - cause I ahve to finish my patintings and other works for Altparty, read to finals, study hardCORE.......

Hmm atleast, I got the special saw needed to my work from Seba - he is so helpful when it comes to things like this :DD I'm sure he is going to saw and hammer the work for me as " I cant do anything like this properly" according to him. Well we will see....

And I'm confused about maps there.. I looked to Marietta's map... waat it's not like any Haukilahti (a place in Espoo which you can walk thru) It's Huge - biger than Helsinki - and near a hotel there is a Air Force base and - scaaaaryyyyyyy... ;_____________; I was planning first stay in Atlanta so maybe I can meet some hip people that can show me around - and then start to get lost towards Marietta, the hotel.. which should be easy to locate as it's near a highway.
AND it has been told to me that outside Atlanta there's almoust zero public transport, and well maybe I can cycle myself 14 miles :-----------------D
But guess I could stay first in the hotel and from there start to explore how things work ..
I have been thinking this too much - better to suprise myself there \o/

Now I promise not to update about this trip until I have booked the tickets... guess it's more interesting to read about my... Cyberlocks project for ALTparty!!!

So I'll sign off now! ( and come back with the hair tutorial! Or about my paintings!)

Akeboshi Wind

My package from DreadViolette arrived today \o/ Pink wireloom, kamekalon fiber and a foam sheet :3 *pink pink* Started to work on it right away, but now after I tried one dread -Found out that need thicker ones! >:B But I'll leave the "real ones" for a better time.

Today I woke up early again - and went to hunt a backpack for me again. I decided to take the one in Partioaitta, (eng: Scoutfench? :----D) as I had so wonderful customerservice there last time when visited the store ( the boy let me try the backpack on me and introduced all the pockets...) It's a 50liters bag and an airplane friendly *bla bla* it's cute!

4 weeks and 6 days to Phillipines .. and a couple more for Atlanta! \o/
I really can't think anything else than the noice of jeepneys, skycrapers and my gran mom's food <3____<3

I'm so happy now - Life is nice!

ps. I like people that appreciate and enjoy even tiny things :3 dunno.. it's nice to see and I undertand those kind of people.

I think it's cute when foreign people try to translate something into finnish and then sms it :3

Always Too Late

Heh, I was already crying for happiness last night cause I thought I'm going to Atlanta at 8th of June - but then.. "Hey I have a tattoo appointment at that time...."

Well.. Maybe I wont rush into that trip, I'll let it season a month or two :3 I need to prepare "things I REALLY want to do in U.S" ( for example: to eat a bic mac meal with coke - and drink coke tooo!!!)
I'm going to tranfer a bunch of cash to my savings account next monday - and wont touch them before the day of booking flights or so. PROMISE.

My plan was going to Atlanta in beginning of August or in September after my finals tests.
(I really should be studying this summer -_-)
And I plan to stay in International Hostel of Atlanta, which is located quite near of the CocaCola factory or something \o/ .. And Kirsti told me about Little Five Point so I must visit that too and of course I must meet Shawn at some point :3

This Atlanta - trip is going to be like my "practise level" of travelling: "Metropolitan in english"
and the boss stage will be: Tokyo - next spring :P
Now after wathing Madventures again, I kinda long for a friend to go with me and I hope Aleksi or anyone could make it there with me n___n
It's weird as when I was small I couldn't or didnt want to be alone at all. Now I'm very exact of my company, and after my heart tumbled month ago can't even look others "in that way".. dude you took my heart


Tomorrow is Mothers day - And today we went with my mom to Helsinki to eat some bagels and donuts.

I bought her some macaroons for tomorrow ( or today) in chocolate, pistachio and strawberrie - flavor!

I finally got myself a pair of lenses we sell at Cybershop. They are the best quality ever -as they even make a hint of colour in my super-black"brown" eyes! Theese ones are "Violet Haze" (29€ pair) they have black circles in the outline and some violet going in the middle ^^ (well you maybe dont see the differense .. but I'm happy x) ) As they are a huge boom in asia.. I'm a victim too! And I was going to order the same pair as Kipi uses in her Haruhi Suzumiya pictures/cosplays! \o/
s!

and guess "being friends" is the best thing to do and I even figured it myself!

Tomorrow

Tomorrow it's been exactly one month from the moment I hugged him for a long time.
weird.

I was at the careers counceler filling up the form for the finals next autum. I will be doing Sex and health education and psychology.
Then in spring mathematics, finnish and english.

No matter where on earth I am - I will be always so lost.

I want to have some real laugh. But currently I dont like shaking hands and I hate it when some people that i expect to know that press me doing it.
Yes, it's polite but it makes me sick if .. you are just standfing there telling me to shake hands.
I dont understand you and you wont never understand me.

You said I'm so tiny

yesterday I saw a dead bird. A tiny round one.
Today it's about peachflowers. In reality all my anger is about missing. I miss you and you wont even think about it.
I cant even hug other people cause it feels wrong. I want your hug and your arms. And you wont ever feel in the same way *moody feet stamping*
Why are seas so big

Lost my Music

Yeah I have lost it.
I just slammed the door. I just don't like people in the same way and it's hard when no one follows up my dreams and that's totally fine with me.
but how about when my dreaming isnt anything to follow - not fine.
Ah everything makes me feel that I'm insane.

I just.. god.. want to dye my hair, dress weirdly and continue dreaming and working my ass off to achive them!
Hey, I want to drive a car in U.S while drinking coca cola (ahhh i would love coke right now x__X) if there is nothing to visit in U.S - then it's all for Japan.

ah. Being pink, girly and my-weird-self is something I like now. Me me me all about me cuz i dont understand other people anymore.

and started to love all this gyaru ganguro things cause they all look so fun!

The new cafe in helsinki

Because there is something cute when a person who doesn't speak or know the language writes in it something long .. or just something (okay my blogs isn't cute..) cause just checked Heikki's blog and think it's just cute to find so many lines in japanese!

*****はとてもcoolで日本人よりも日本人らしい人。

I should start too.

And as maali asked "who is it this time?" i'm not changing my crush all the time.. it has been this same for like soon 6 months .. (only?)

ps. We figured out that it's cheaper to fly first to New York from Helsinki by a "flight + hotel" package stay there around one week, couple of days and then fly for example to Atlanta. Weird. But good to know.

I ask him nicely if he wants a cup of tea

Hate when it gets political in artgroups
When asked I'll awnser that I like United States and communism - too annoying, and thats what makes me interesting. I dont know much of politics - hell they would know that, I like U.S cause they have invented good foods and South has the most friendly people and communism.. I love their propaganda posters!

^ Found a new favorite painter and illustrator - He has works around the world: in New York and South Korea, some contemporary art LOVE.
Again having the feeling that I'm the only one in the whole world that doesn't care ab responsability not cause I'm trying to avoid it or smth but cause we don't need to be so serious all the time.

Yes, I go early to sleep, I work go to school and care of my looks, doing what I have to. That's it.
Then I'll start dreaming - New York and Tokyo's capsule hotels.
What do I want to do in NY? eat hotdogs. In Tokyo I surely want to cross the district of Shibuya.
Guess I enjoy alot smaller things than most of the people? ... Why so serious

I haven't liked company - have prefered more dreaming and can't really share them with anyone. Tried - but I know Aleksi wont come with me to Tokyo, like he is not coming to Phillipines either. Things simply dont come ready in front of you...

we had a long chat with mom about ..things and I even showed her the backside of my english course book x) which is full of "Mrs. Nicole *****<3" She lolled.
And everytime when I brainwash myself in things like "I was just 1 of his 1000" or " i know im too young to him and it will never work and im stupid *more low self esteem crap*" - then he appears in some shape of somewhere. Sms. What. No. Ah...
this is not good.
I'm 18 and since the age of 14 my every day sms have dropped to 50 % of those days. In 30's it would be way more less.. like dropped to 0,12% of what it was in 2004. SO: you wont ever know how does it feel, when believing he has forgot totally about you "cause that's the best thing to do right now bla bla" - then he'll come with some cute msg back which shouldn't be taken so serious - but well I'm reading it!

Stop. Or don't. Sounds corny but you are making me crazy.
And other cruel fact.. when ill reach the sole of U.S - sure you'll have already a own family.
Maybe good so - need to concentrate in school

No.No. I'm just turning 19. I need to fashion-blog, drive my license, paint, be drunk and be silly and vainglorious.
But. Those arms big hands and that neck.

Please someone hit my head hard*now*

ps. It doesnät feel good when someone tries to say what is wrong or right for me, or someone equal with me telling what to do.
I want to do music. You just want to do .. something.

pppppppppppppppppppps. english tutoring would be nice .. inglishu isnt accepted in finals .__.