who'd have known

np: Lily Allen -It's not me It's you


I feel tired for a long time. Guess it's good but i really dont want to go back to normal as I'm not sure what normal is. Cheerleading was fun trained something for our show :3
I wasnt feeling good at the practise but it's nice to have something else to think. Also I made my final project ready to hand in. Super glad ab it now ^^

Last Friday we went to see Slumdog Millionaire. Super good movie! Needed some change to movies I have been watching lately (shaun of dead, resident evil, asian vision etc.)
I can recomend it to everyone.

The movie made me think too much. Missing and wanting things.
Missing that neck from where i breathed hot moist, when we were breathless and me grabbing that neck with my tiny hands. Seeing necks in that way and noticing that it's wrong to think them .. makes me feel like very obsessed.
Guess this is just me being confused, how did everything happened and what is there for me later? It wasn't me, but i dont regret doing anything.. puff... wow.. what did i do. And I cant really talk ab it to anyone, playing it my head all alone feel pervert.
I want him, I want to do something meaningful, I want to do something exciting!

Ah why cant I just take a bus to his place? Why did I born 10 years too late?

I feel myself so paranoid and I have kinda adopted the way girls usually think ab boys - and it worries me. Like thoughts "what does he REALLY thinks ab me, if im just one in between 100 other girls." And older guys have always random girls. ah /quit boring, low-selfesteem, crush talk!

It's not fair and I think you are really mean.
"If you ever step to U.S I'll get you out of there in the very same minute! It's not a problem to me come there! Dont you understand, I love you and nowbody else isn't able to do that!"
You cry and I feel myself small. Chiisana.
You say I'm too small, too young, too immature to everything and you don't .. want me to go away from your eyes.

I wore theese boots again in the photoshoot and i actually like them again. As they have used theese very same boots in fashion magazine dispite of all the gothicness - I could wear them too, atleast they make me ab ~165cm tall!


Oh guess i need some sleep now. I want to be in atlanta already. In a hotelroom eating chocolate and maybe drinking some original soda. Or "fresh coca-cola".

Please, let me be with you . (asdf now the chobits theme "let me be with you" stuck on my head)
Thank you for being so nice to me.