I don't care about my bad reputation

Didn't do musch today, woke up late, IRC, walked to my folks, waited for mom there and then we went to Ikea all three with my lil sister, Rowina.

Saw a weird dream - but in youth home they tend to tell me that dreams like that were just because my mind is trying to process the things that are bothering me. Hope so. Feeling jealous, Piglet from Winnie the Pooh, Aleksi - don't make any sence.

Ikea was fun as mom like to fool around and make joke of those scandinavian designs. For example there was a cabinett with a hole, that looked like a toilet, she went to sit there and we automatically started to laugh to it. Of course we ate alot. Then bought some toys to Didi, and some boxes for me that i can sort my lingerie from each other. Also we finally found a orange shower curtain.
Going to Ikea is always kind of an adventure.

I love Avril Lavigne
I love Didi
I love my whole family

My mom is so cute as she was :"stop talking about sex in internet, is bad, boys will hate you - especially HE will" then I just hugged her <3 guess she is right.
-"Also take your piercings off, his kind of guys don't like piercings!" - "actually he said he does"
-"OOO NOOO he doesnt" aww my mom is so small.

Going to burn some Avril LAvigne to my home then I'll be back at my own apartment.

edit. He didn't query me today :< well what a rollecoaster ride with my feelings. Guess i REALLY should focus to something more realistic.. but dreaming keeps me feeling alive and fancy. Magical. Having a crush on someone... what a feeling.
All the waiting. It would be totally different that if he would be a boy from my school, I'll see him tomorrow, he would be easily reacheable. This is different, can't sms him or call, cant ask for a cafe - it's just either the IRC or msn :D
How about if he has same feelings to someone else at breakpoint -well then its just like that. This is like when Blink 182's guitarist Tom Delonge was my HUUUUUGE crush. Wasn't so bad as he got married :DD
I'm so sure that as im dreaming about saying 'hey' to him, and almoust breaking my neck as i try to look into his eyes *his so tall!* or even hugging him - I'll just go very shy, wont be able to speak english, my small talk would suck and then ill just stay middle of other finns.