Huwebes, Setyembre 17, 2009

Pages without sound

Beltbuckles clicking, he was putting his pants on
- "where are you going" I asked though knew he was going to take a smoke.
4am -in which point did I even check the time?
He came back, bringing the coldness of fall and the smell of my dad to the bed.
He had thought about the thing.
I was angry and sad - lack of sleep, hunger or being disappointed ?

Monday you can fall apart
Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart
Oh, Thursday doesn't even start

Messed up, trying to cover in make-up my face which was breaking to cry in any moment then some one says that I'm "kawaii gyaruu" (cute lady).
Shit. Never felt like that and I knew the feeling will last for a long time if I wont speak up my mind - so I did.
And I'm better now, stuck with the feeling for weeks sounds so miserable, I don't think it's necessary. some do it. If someone doesn't want you, deal with it.

I'm going tonight to Tampere, the party starts tomorrow - random.
I just want to do this no matter how stupid this will look like.

The feeling I can furniture my home as I want, dress up, take piercings and tattoos as I want are the priviledges of being single.
Still I want a bed where a babycat, artic fox and a rabbit called Niilo sleep.

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