Beethoven Symphony No.9

Hi! Please forgive my presumptuousness and abruptness. Even though you do not know me right now, I still want to be confident like you and tell you: I like you! You have the right to refuse my love, but you cannot show contempt for my love, because that is a heart that is sincerely beating for you.

I saw this photograph of you on the internet, and over the past few days, I’ve been paying attention to you more and more. Unwittingly, my obsession and adoration towards you became like the water in the Chang Jiang [Yangtze] river that comes from the sky and rushes swiftly out to the sea never to return [his attraction and love was unstoppable, could not be reversed ]!” Falling in love with you is my biggest glory, and a mediocre life from this point on is no longer ordinary. At this moment, any beautiful language is unable to express the obsession I have for you. That pure-hearted smile has already been deeply fixed in the center of my heart. It is almost time for your flight, so here I will first wish you a nice trip!

Also I just want to tell you: First is that I like you, second is also that I like you, and third is still that I like you…I like you…

Your little princess is my little whore

Ah got and incredible offer!! And I was listening to this .. and now I'm trying to work my ass off to Breakpoint and all demoparties this yeas >:D

how this song is related.. ? it's inspiring!

Oh HAI!

So this morning I woke up again slowly and feeling fine, walked my way to my parents home and made a card for Arlyn. But I didn't go to the party cause I forgot my party-top home ._.

Today was so nice going back for training! I did miss all my team-mates and ARGH JUST COOL! I love my coaches!!
First of all, I got a x-mas present ribbon ^^
2nd we did and awesome pyramid! :D
Usually I'm a terrible sissy and afraid of trying anything. But my coaches have tought me - just by showing their attitude - "try, practise and you'll learn it".
So when I least trust on myself, I just look at their faces and courage BOOST 2000X !!
Also the attitude of your team mates is also important - everybody working for the same goal <3
3rd I really want back to practise! I need to work hard outside training hours too!
Even you are tired after school or work, going there and seeing all those funny girls! Then for warm-up we usually play some different kind of tag, like fruit tag or "who is scared of the blackman"-tag.. and I usually become breathless by just laughing so much during the games :D

Heart beat, beats the cold

Yesterday I spent only one class at school cause of feeling so dizzy ready to throw up.. wonder if it's migraine or something.
Well the condition couldn't be helped and had to finish my schoolwork the whole afternoon.
Also had to do shopping with my mom - It overbears me when she wants me to wear something more like "the others" and don't like her "oh yes yes yyyyeeees" sayings when I might like some piece in a "normal store" - like I'm not shopping there normally? -.-
I'm not *that* different afterall.. but still it makes me feel uncomfortable when my own mom goes "you should see how X:s daughter.." " you should start buying same cloths as your sister.."
I bought a mint-blue marvel-college from 12y/o boys department for 3euros and I'm going to wear it cause it's comfortable and I LIKE THE COLOR AND IT HAS DUDES FIGHTING!

I dont want to seem stupid or needy but really theese made me laugh to myself:
1. Dont put a carpet into a washing machine even it fits inside - it's not the same thing with a bathroom carpet.. First, all the shreds jammed the machine 2nd the carpet is totally destroyed!
2. Dont put toothpaste into your eye, especially ones with "freshing christals" so when you make-up in bathroom make sure the surface is clean. I totally failed to get toothpaste on a bug brush which whipped also accidentally my eye..

Met mr.iDenwa and was kinda disappointed as some guys couldn't say anything off-track about him.. and by that i mean things like "he was the ex-minister of vietn kong" or "he killed gorillas bare hands in Russia!"
Hanging out and so.. Corona and so. Learning things and so. My internetZZZ is still borueken.

btw listening to:
I *love* this!

This is a secret and my suspicions about things behind his words might be true - or then he is just saying. I dare to claim that we are very alike and when I was saying things like that .. I know how complicated the situations really can be and it's more easy to accept it as I have gone thru it. In the other hand as a selfish-tiny-super-spoiled-brat the thought that can't have what I want hopefully teaches me something.
Maybe this won't be so serious, maybe I'm wasting my time (because if there is a end or another start it's not going to happen in a week or month, this is the weird part of dating older guys: month is like nothing to them " I call you next week", for me it's an eternity!!)- but atleast enjoying the time?
We have only one life and why not.

Today cheerleading practise for a long time! Then Arlyn's birthday.

Also I'm in a quest to find the original novel of Love & pop and Tokyo decadence - which go with names "Topaz" (topazu) and "Topaz II" by Ryu Murakami.. what to do..

JU VANA TATS MI TUU

Narcissistic features have started growing inside me.. maybe.
I like the guys who surrounds me at math class they are fun to listen and .. so kind! :3
"Give me a five!" he said after I flaunted of my 4 row of 10's ( same as A+)

I met my new social worker and it kinda bothers me as it's not so amusing to explain my past 3 years again and again to someone new...

In the evening I went to my first russian lesson and impressed the teacher by greeting and intoroducing myself in russian ^^ also the math class was nice!

My financial situation is so good that I was thinking to visit a hairdresser inside a week!
I was planning to get ..a... emoish "scene queen" cut? .. maybe!
Also pondering to try a fudge coloured hair.. but it wouldn't probably go with the cut ( I would look like a troll :D)

Tomorrow more school and mr. iDenwa ( i'll change this if some better comes along)

Tea in a glass with milk

(above a picture of my favorite movie, Oldboy)
Just came from gym working my ass off literally but I hunger for chocolate. ARGH.

Me and my mom went to the university entrance information.. thingie yesterday.
Everybody tells how challenging it's to get into medical school ( they take 20% of who applies), but to study psychology they take only 3,97% or to study fashion less than 7% ...
I have goals to acchieve and 38points of 210 because of my laudatur in psychology but -- more reading ... for a couple years IF I get in.. *sigh* but then I need to focus on why it's so important to complete my studies. ( Usually I think of my dad and his childhood - that's a good ass kicker)
Among behaviourscience and fashion studying, 3D animation and anything related to animations would be fun too.. Sad all of those wont fit under one roof.

I'm an average student - but nowadays I have been feeling like a swor especially in english and math course 5 ... Wtf for those continual moments for akward silence after someone asks something stupid! ( there's no stupid questions only stupid people asking)

.. now mentioning that, I do feel free to ask details and almoust act stupid ( or I just feel like one ) with a guy whom with I been lately spent time. He didn't even finish highschool - which makes his source of common knowledge more interesting. For example he reads cognition sciences just for fun!
you'll just rip their last remains of manlyhood!
after few experience with boys, I think manlyhood is better found from between your ears than in pants.
I rather chat with a male person hoooours about - snow and about neurobilogy than.. have sex with a hyped cock ( nani, was it attached to something?)..which will disappoint me and wont teach me anything but "Don't listen to the oppinion of demoscene guys about.. sizes"
I CAN HAS Revy attitude towards sex: I wont benefit, why bother

As my man hate is soaring - this one guy is getting more cooler in my eyes day by day!
I could claim that the reason for why we come along so well is INTERNETS.
First, we get known thru IRC - cool and lots of things in common!
2nd, as I was in a phase where I saw in every male person the most retarded living creature ever which needed a mother - he comes around and saves the man image!
Also he reminds me of Timo which calms me and I can't think anything else than "cooolcoolcooolcoolcoolcoolcool!"
Then okay I fed him pizza, ( BUT I'm a teenager that's normal to me..) but he took me to a nepalese FOR LUNCH, geeeee.. cool.

Then age difference.. I think it's not a issue anymore, but dunno if there's still something twisted. Well hell does anyone care as long it's legal? ...and as long the other one isn't a total conservative ( cough like usually) Dunno is it classified as abnormal like, a fetish!.. or is it normal but I just go to the extreme?
Maybe I just like intelligent people! n_______n

I got the latex/rubber Man laugh.
Wood strawberry joghurt is the best!
I want a iPhone.

Birthday and schools

This year I'll be sooooooooooo old ._____________________.
Should I have a pary with my graduation as they have almoust the same day?
Should I go for Heltech AV ?

About favorite movies

We watched this with naali monts ago - this is sooooo scary and..... dunno sick.
Not my favorite but one of them... I should be sleeping but I want to keep this feeling :3

but this is

FUA-KIN!!

Ah a weard school day behind again - they go so fast as I know this is my last period in highschool ever.. if i wont count my japanese studies!

What features do you need?

It's so amazing how even your movie-history is same-alike...
Wonder how does he judge movies does he say "that's buullllll shit" or "hmm I like the colours, but I didnt like the plot".. I prefer for the last one.
I need someone with a large vocabulary tobe used with open mind