watching Tsuji chan's life

I wish I would have a boyfirend
I wish someone would like me exactly in the way I am.
You don't have to like ribbons but dont judge the one in my head, kudasai.

Creep

Today I heard Brooklyn would be my thing.

Coffee doesn't make me feel good but I like the taste.

I was guessing today what to wear on Thursday and Friday - and for my own bad I was planning them thru people whom I'm going with... That's bad and sad...
In other words it's (trying to) pleasing (them) and hiding myself.
Will I have the same phase with older friends that I had with my parents - To not give a #"/!)?# what they think or say?

101 - doubt?

There hasn't been much situations where I have been "should I, or shouldn't I?" cause I usually just let it go.

Now. It's a message, thru facebook for God's sake why does this feel so wrong? It's just a message thru TEH FACEBOOK. Ok. I'll send it.

Today I'm going to clean at Naali's place - okay it's already a bad sign cause everytime I make something quite suprising for someone something goes super wrong at the same time.
Last time was when I went back to cheerleading. Then he got issues.

oooh... atleast I hope I won't regret this. I'm trying to be a nice person!!

100

At Saturday I went to a SideShow together with Aleksi, Tiina, Joni, Netta, Jussi, Velmu, Anna, Antti and Noora (?) It was fun and shoking, pictures maybe later.
I was dressed up as a schoolgirl and first time ever took a taxi by myself to Naali. There he was sleeping, then we ate sandwiches and went to sleep.

Next day, Sunday, we slept until we woke up and then went to the Central eat at Morrinsosn (!BIG BURGERS!!!), have some dessert at memphis (!!) and watch the movie District 9. ^^

Next Thursday we are going to see the circus with Velikani and maybe Tiia :3
Then at Friday we are going out to eat with Liisa. *omgomg whattowearsoiwoldntlooklikeaemobrat*

.. and I should do math and read this week. And finish all my art works..

I'm really out of money and need to budjet.

I'm Amy Winehouse

today.
Yesterday the stuff of Bruuveri didn't ask my id:s - so surely because Antti pickme up from the door.
Though your 18 they have a right to remove you from there cause it's K-20.

Drunk. We took a taxi.
eraser, food and salkkarit - the finnish soap opera.
I think there should be made a realtv-show of demoscene people. Surely interesting.

The chords and the beats what if what if

It smells like a well groomed man in here always, it smells like sleeping
Spent my last summer nights in this very same bed giggling.

He is a gentleman, chops vegetables to my plate. Responses to hugs middle of the night.
I don't want to last week to repeat itself but there is a possibility. DO NOT WANT.
jealousy

Theres nothing bad to have what you want, right? As long it feels good.

I got a Laudatur from psychology, I'm super happy.
Sex and Health education didn't go so smooth, let me blame the previous depressive week.

Everything is cool as long I'm getting thinner

huh, just came back from Stream(demo)party, Tampere, here to Antti's please ( i just twisted it to Anakin, and as we made some lasagne, Koki- like Kokki cook, Koki Anakin - you dont understand but i'm giggling to it anyway)

for the very first time i didn't feel like a teenager nor to have the right to act like one - anymore
Even I have and share the image demoparties are wild, careless, fun parties that welcome you exactly as you are - I realize that they contain a massive amount of drama and thinking about correct behaving.

I was drunk. Wanted to be and I think it's fun. And for real - people who think my issues, could stick on their own ones!
Sauna, couches, out side air, compos, sleeping - people <3
At some point it really was going wrong and then there was this straight from a moviescene and Tazze saves me. Tazze talks to me before I pass out to the shower and im more wise now I guess.
I know more.
(Yeah, at demoparties you either learn the super good or super bad sides)
At saturday we went to the central with 8 guys, naali, kani, jugi and... to eat at te American Dinner it's now my new favorite place!! ^^ food was jummy<3
More sauna and Kakka in my Hello Kitty panties :DD
We didnt speak much but I think things between us are now better, it's the sleeping charging rainbow batteries

Damn I dont remember much of sat-sun night

The suprising thing was stealing, someone stole my bag of alcohol which had also my friends stuff, ate my oreo cakesteres and took my pink car

What I learned : "It's not me, it's you" and "when there is a train, you wont ever know if it was the last one so hop on"

Pages without sound

Beltbuckles clicking, he was putting his pants on
- "where are you going" I asked though knew he was going to take a smoke.
4am -in which point did I even check the time?
He came back, bringing the coldness of fall and the smell of my dad to the bed.
He had thought about the thing.
I was angry and sad - lack of sleep, hunger or being disappointed ?

Monday you can fall apart
Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart
Oh, Thursday doesn't even start

Messed up, trying to cover in make-up my face which was breaking to cry in any moment then some one says that I'm "kawaii gyaruu" (cute lady).
Shit. Never felt like that and I knew the feeling will last for a long time if I wont speak up my mind - so I did.
And I'm better now, stuck with the feeling for weeks sounds so miserable, I don't think it's necessary. some do it. If someone doesn't want you, deal with it.

I'm going tonight to Tampere, the party starts tomorrow - random.
I just want to do this no matter how stupid this will look like.

The feeling I can furniture my home as I want, dress up, take piercings and tattoos as I want are the priviledges of being single.
Still I want a bed where a babycat, artic fox and a rabbit called Niilo sleep.

wnb Tila Tequila

so... I have naturally a deep black hair, so before I get it pink or red I bleach it !
ignore the black-game shirt... plz

whos' your daddy

Just came from work and dyeing my hair to be cotton candy pink :P See what happends...
Below a picture from the cutest sleeper ever, Didi<3
Above, I'm not the only one in this family who likes Hello Kitty. When I visited my parents place my mom had customized the mirror with Hello Kitty stickers :D This is my common view while staying at Naali's place. His DVDs, his neck in a collared shirt and *datdatdtadtatdtatwindowsdatadatdatdaadadad*
This week hasn't been so different, school, studying to finals and sleeping at Kulosaari.
Though we went to Koto ( in Kalevankatu) with Sini and this is what we ate <3

We have cooked alot begetables and some very exotic stuff with Naali :P
Like in this one: it's chicken in coconut flakes and we made some bananarice with it ^____^<3

Currently, when I have had money - I spent it to eating and spoiling myself with imported treats ( And yes I already changed some dollars<3 cute money btw!)
I don't like much the original pockys but wanted to try theese ones! Haven't opened them yet, I'll wait Naali to come back :3
I bought some cup noodles, though this is more "plate"noodle, it was so funny and gigantic I had to take couple of them :DD
Instant miso they taste *pk*
Then i had to try the take-away sushi in the railway station which Tazze told me being ok - it was <3 Yes I *LOVE* Inaris, and anything with avocado - like in this avocado rolls

MADE

Naali is a nice person he smells good.
I'm so impatient - don't want to wait until Streamparty, I know what I want (and that's not childish)
I like to come here in Kulosaari cause it smells always like someone has just come out from shower.
The bed smells like cottoncandy and puppies.
Now he is away to Parikkala for this weekend.

feels like there should be tons of things done
I pack part of my stuff
go to work
after work to my parents home
in the mornin to my own home and then to practice.

I got interested about dirtbiking but guess already a motor will be out of my budget .. :DD

I love my life.

The Kamikaze girl

When I see people not thinking their kittens are cute anymore when they have grown up, it's kinda melancholic. I just want to cuddle and him to pet me.
I have grown and I still want that same attention than month (or years) ago.
Time changes so fast.. and my opinions too

We went for sushi and felt something was wrong with her as we didn't giggle in the same way,
try on weird cloths or fancy anything. Was it the weather? She has grown so much and I have left behind. Good for her, she is going to take an adventure - I'm going to continue my things here.
It felt like Sex and the city scene.

I also regret not going to the HC gig yesterday - Aleksi had bought as earplugs, and was truly disappointed. He sends me mail where he says things like: "well see you when you have a blue hair"
And I feel my life is boring as no one really understands things like that, adult people especially.
I think Aleksi is immature and shit like that -but guess it's a benefit.
Guess when I have been hanging out here I have tried to be so.. mature - but after watching tv for one evening I miss to be a impulsive and random kid again cause I'm still a teeeeeeeeen though.
Like last weekend.
But that was too Sex in the City too :D

Never apologize for being random, that's what makes you so awesome. ♥

ah what to do.